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Abstrak :
The research is aimed at finding out the love relation between Indonesian homosexuals with their foreign couples in Yogyakarta. Besides, the research is also conducted to seek some information on how love penetration among them transferred. Finally it is also purposed to dig out some factors that trigger the love relation. The research applied social penetration theory (Altman and Taylor, 1973). The theory is consisted of development phase's happened in homosexual's love relation, orientation to affective explorative, affective explorative to exchange of affective, exchange of affective to an already stable exchange of affective. There are some obstacles faced by homosexual?s couple in orientation phase. One of them is that they have to confront the act of prejudice from Indonesia society toward them. Thus, the society in which they live can not tolerate and support the homosexual manner. It makes them difficult to get a long each other in a public. Love relation among homosexual starts in affective explorative and affective phases. In these two phases homosexual couple starts to express their feeling by sharing some certain selective topics. They tried to focus on higher level on intimacy (Budyatna, 1993). They are resembled to heterosexual couple in this phase. In subsequent phase, a stable exchange of affective, the couples concentrate on the openness of mind, supportive each other in loneliness and emptiness. The equal and positive feelings are followed by the highest level o intimacy. In this phase, homosexual couples decide to live together and share thee room apartment. Even, they decide to get married. Self disclosure is the most difficult phase for homosexual couples. Telling other or proclaiming their identity are done in a secret and personal way. Self disclosure is the most crucial phase for homosexual couple to build a more intimate relation (Taylor and Peplau 1997). Finally, the research is somehow a qualitative one in which the approach is focused on the individual back ground of homosexual by using symbolic interaction perspective. The data are descriptive, gathered from close observations and depth interviews.

Abstrak :
Artikel ini merupakan kajian filosofis yang menjelaskan akar dari permasalahan relasi cinta melalui teori abjeksi Julia Kristeva. Beragam relasi cinta antar manusia tidak terlepas dari hasrat manusia sehingga selalu memunculkan rasa berkekurangan. Jarak dan rasa berkekurangan dengan hasrat ini yang menjadi akar berbagai kesedihan dan penderitaan dalam relasi cinta antar manusia. Artikel ini mencari jawaban dari pertanyaan mengapa selalu adanya rasa berkekurangan hasrat dalam relasi cinta dan bagaimana seharusnya manusia merespon abjeksi dari hal tersebut. Data dalam artikel ini terkumpul melalui metode kepustakaan yang ditelaah secara filosofis dengan metode psikoanalisis estetis, Upaya ini dilakukan untuk mengkaji akar dari problem relasi dan cinta dengan berangkat dari fenomena abjeksi dan mencari jawaban memberi respon yang argumentatif. Pemikiran abjeksi Kristeva digunakan sebagai pendekatan yang membuka perspektif atas cinta. Artikel ini membuktikan bahwa perlu ada perebutan makna atas cinta dalam memahami kesedihan dan penderitaan tersebut sebagai proses pembentukan diri. ......This article is a philosophical study that explains the root of the problem of love relationships through Julia Kristeva's theory of abject. Various love relationships between humans are inseparable from human desires so that it always creates a feeling of lack. Distance and a sense of lack with this desire are the roots of various sorrows and suffering in love relationships between people. This article seeks answers to the question why there is always a lack of desire in love relationships and how humans should respond to the objection of it. The data in this article were collected through the literary method which was examined philosophically using the aesthetic psychoanalysis method. This effort was made to examine the roots of the problem of relationships and love by departing from the phenomenon of abjection and seeking answers and giving argumentative responses. Kristeva's abjection of thought is used as an approach that opens perspectives on love. This article proves that there needs to be a struggle for the meaning of love in understanding sadness and suffering as a process of self-formation.