The paper describes several types of referents, including internal, external and system referents, and explains that they are the key for choosing actions or inactions. Individuals and organizations use these referents to get understandings of themselves, to encourage learning and to bounce back from failure. Using social cognition and social comparison literature, the paper focuses its explanation on the reasons why a particular type of referent is used and on its consequences on individuals' and organizations' ability to learn, to bounce back from difficult circumstances, or on their inability to survive. The paper concludes that motivation and ability to choose the right reference may assist individuals and organizations to rise from difficulties and to achieve more, while inability to choose the right reference may result in dire consequences.